Coming Out Of My Closet
The shift from the pathology paradigm to the neurodiversity paradigm calls for a radical shift in language. If a person has a medical condition, we might say that “she has cancer,” or “she suffers from ulcers.” But when a person is a member of a minority group, we say “she’s Black,” or “she’s a lesbian.” We recognize that it would be outrageously inappropriate—and likely mark us as ignorant or bigoted—if we were to refer to a Black person as “having negroism” or being a “person with negroism,” or that someone “suffers from homosexuality.” So if we use phrases like “person with Autism,” or “families affected by Autism,” we’re using . . . language that . . . accepts and reinforces the assumption that Autism is intrinsically a problem. In the language of the neurodiversity paradigm . . . we speak of Autistics in the same way we would speak of any social minority group: I am Autistic. I am an Autistic. I am an Autistic person. . . . The concept of a “normal brain” or a “normal person” has no more objective scientific validity—and serves no better purpose—than the concept of a “master race.” . . . In the context of human diversity (ethnic, cultural . . . or any other sort), to treat one particular group as the “normal” or default serves to privilege that group. . . . The concept of “normal” is absurd in the context of racial, ethnic, or cultural diversity.6
Dr. Nick Walker. Loud Hands: Autistic People, Speaking
Excerpt from: Bowman, Daniel Jr.. On the Spectrum (pp. 71-72). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
As many of you know I have been blessed with three autistic grandsons, what you may not know is that as I have researched more about autism and ways to help the boys overcome obstacles they will face in a world designed for a neurotypical person, I have found that I also fall under the category of neurodivergent, more specifically what use to be referred to a Asperger’s Syndrome but now is lumped into Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).
The quote above really hit home for me. All my life I have wondered why I was different from everyone else, why I never seemed too quite fit in? Too often those who are considered neurodivergent are made to feel like there is something wrong with them because they see, feel, and address things differently than a neurotypical person would. While these differences may make others feel uncomfortable because they are not the “norm” in their world, for them this is the norm.
Autism is not something you have; it’s how we are wired. Just like you would not refer to an extrovert as having extrovertism, a person on the spectrum does not have autism, they are autistic. Did you catch the difference? It is not something we are from but who we are. An autistic person suffering comes from having to fit in in a world not designed for them, having to mask who they are so they are accepted in a neurotypical world.
Is being autistic so bad? Where would the world be without the spark of the autistic mind? While most people think of the stereotypical “Rainman” as what an autistic person is, they would be surprised to know how many people around them fall on the spectrum. Imagine what our world would be like if it had never known Albert Einstein, Sir Isaac Newton, Tim Burton, Emily Dickenson, Bobby Fischer, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Andy Warhol, Charles Darwin, Anthony Hopkins, Daryl Hannah, and Jerry Seinfeld. And the list goes on, these are just a few recognizable people who have made large contributions to the world as we know it. Yes, each and everyone of them fall on the spectrum.
You may have noticed the type of person you expected, the thinkers, science minded, hard facts, structured type of personality. But did you notice the actors, writers, painters on the list? While autism is typically associated with the left-brain thinker, methodical and logical, Mr. Spock, I would venture that a large percentage fall under right-brain thinkers, the creative and artistic. Even when you look at those who would be categorized as left-brain you can see the creative side. Would Albert Einstein been able to make the contributions he did without out of the box creative thinking?
I write this to say, you may be surround by autistic people and not even know it. While you are excited about the new software at work, they are feeling anxiety over learning all the details of how it works. What may seem like a natural workflow to you seems disjointed and unnatural to us, and we need to learn work arounds for it to make sense.
Everyone is excited about the big event, but the autistic person is feeling panic arise in anticipation of having to be around that many people at once and the sensory overload it can cause. Even something as normal as going to church can cause us to spiral towards a meltdown. I find that I cannot stay in the room during worship. The volume, lights, and mass of people is enough to trigger my fight or flight instincts and I need to step out and regroup.
Even though I haven’t sat down and written anything in a while, this has been one of the easiest series of thoughts I have been able to put down on paper, or the screen, I guess. Even though it has been easy to put my thoughts down I know it will be one of the hardest things to post. My autistic mind says, “what will people think of you?”, “how will opening verbalizing it affect me, my family, my relationships?”. So why am I doing it?
First and foremost, so my grandsons know they never have to feel ashamed of who they are. That even though they live in a world that isn’t designed for them they can still make contributions that will better themselves and thought around them.
Secondly, I am tired of wearing the mask that the neurotypical world forces us to. I’ve spent my entire life playing the game, trying to fit in when I know I never will. I tired of trying to stand up to someone else expectations of normal while it slowly kills me inside. I am tired of hiding who God made me to be.
Lastly, it is my hope that maybe someone will read my words and it will spark them to look at those who are neurodivergent just a little differently, or even better it would give other neurodivergent people the courage to share who they are without shame.
If any of what I have written has ignited even a little spark I would encourage you to check the book “On the Spectrum” by Daniel Bowman
As many of you know I have had a passion for photography since I was young so when I found out about James Jordon The Autistic Photographer I had to check him out. If you would like to see the creative side of autism, check out his website at
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